Fat and Fearless
I'm fat. I'm not saying that to beat myself up, just stating a fact. For my entire life, I've been overweight and you know what -- it hasn't stopped me from doing shit.
Until pretty recently, I would rarely use that term to describe myself. And if I did in the company of others, it was often met with "Oh, honey, you're not fat" or "don't say that about yourself." Their well-meaning comments were just a symptom of societal views that fat is bad. Outside of those views, fat just is. And I is. And it is ok.
This past weekend my fat and fear intersected in an interesting way for me -- that I think might resonate with (or dare I say help) some people.
Stand Up Paddle Board Yoga
Over this past weekend, I tried stand up paddle board (SUP) yoga for the first time. Despite what my appearance may say to others, I workout regularly. I eat healthy. I'm strong AF.
I wasn't that worried that I could tackle this highly physical task. My apprehension was focused on how I was going to LOOK doing this new activity.
The company that runs the SUP classes takes photos to help participants document and remember the class. I remember telling myself that I wasn't even going to look at the photos after the class. I didn't want the feeling of accomplishment for doing a tough thing to be overshadowed by my insecurities of how my body looked.
Fuck It, I'm Fat, and I'm Awesome
Then I saw this photo that my dear friend Bridget (furthest on the right) posted on Facebook later of us (I'm in the middle). I saw my down dog form (on a motherfin' paddle board) and said to myself, "Girl, who cares if you're fat? You still do cool and scary shit."
Being overweight hasn't stopped me from falling in love, from rockin' in a band, traveling, starting my own business, or just generally being awesome. So why should I let it ruin my mood or feed my fear?
Have I completely tackled my body images issues? No. Am I done being afraid? Probably never. But I am done avoiding any situation because of my weight or worries about what others may think of me.
I hope you all find your fat and fearless -- for whatever you want to do. Travel. Fitness. Job. Love.
What are you stopping yourself from doing because of worry about what others might think?